I'll Be There
by Kilarra
Summary: Facts don't change feelings. Raven's engagement to Robin doesn't change her love for Beast Boy. Nor does it stop him from loving her. But this is the real world and it's not always about love. So where does that leave them? Song used: I'll Be There


**Author's Note: All right, first off this is a song-fic so it is important, I feel, to know the song. Here's the best on-line recording of the proper version I could find (Hadley Fraser with the pre-Broadway lyrics): **

** **.com/watch?v=D-EIC5S-HI0****

**The video bit can be ignored as it has no relevance here, but you have to hear this guy to get the full impact. This is a little something I've been toying with for a while now. A sort of 'what-if' scenario in which Robin and Raven are getting married. I don't feel this is a plausible scenario in any way, shape, or form, but when I heard this song it just made me think of how Beast Boy in particular might feel if it happened. So here you go. I tried to avoid the usual song-fic trap of just repeating the lyrics and work them as a sort of subtext into the story. Don't know if I succeeded. Feedback is very much appreciated, especially since I'm feeling so shaky here.**

**Disclaimer: I'm just stitching the pieces together. Teen Titan's is not mine; the song is I'll Be There from **_**The Pirate Queen**_** sung by Hadley Fraser. Accompanying video is by CLfev.**

* * *

Sometimes life just sucks. Sometimes, stuff happens and your whole world goes down the toilet. And sometimes there's nothing you can do to stop it… nothing you can do to fix it. Sometimes you just have to accept it.

This was one of those times.

_What Do I Say?_

_What Do I Do?_

_How Will I Ever Hope To Fare?_

He'd never been hit by a car before, not in a technical sense, but that was the best comparison he could come up with. Being nailed in the stomach had never robbed him of a witty come back. Nor had falling into a chasm restricted him to inaction. There was nothing in his experience that had prepared him for this level of debilitation, this kind of loss. Never before a blow which forced him to cling to an inaccurate comparison like getting hit by a car to maintain a grasp on reality. Nothing until now. Now **it** had happened. The worst and most improbable thing in the universe had happened. Perhaps it was a bit of a hyperbole, but that wasn't the point. Exaggeration or not, it didn't change the fact that this had been so unlikely three months ago. Not just unlikely, impossible. But it had happened- was happening.

And he knew he was supposed to be excited, that he should be happy for his friends; yet no matter how many times he told himself that, no matter how firm the voice in his head was, all he could feel was shock. Shock and hope that maybe he had, in fact, just been mowed over by a monster truck, hit his head, and was hallucinating the whole thing. At least then he could get better. At least then he didn't have to deal with it. So far that hadn't been the case. It had been three months since the announcement and the most Beast Boy could muster were sickly smiles and enough strength to park his butt where it was directed. So yeah, pretty much the worst three months ever... and it was all downhill from there in the worst possible way.

_How Can I Stay _

_So Close To You_

_Knowing Now That Your Place Is_

_In Another's Embraces,_

_In Another Man's Care?_

They'd been flirting, Beast Boy had picked up on that much, but it hadn't been serious. He hadn't been concerned. Why should he? Things were fine as they were. Robin had Starfire and Raven... Well, Raven had him. Sure, she'd been a bit moody. And yeah, from time to time things blew up and he'd get the occasional bloody nose or broken bone or incarnation of terror when they fought (which did happen, uh, often enough). But that was all part of the passion, and she fixed it right afterward. He wouldn't have abandoned her, no matter what she did or said; she'd never had to worry about that. Because despite how stupid or masochistic loving Raven was, he couldn't help it. Because there was no pain in the world that could even compete with all the joy of being together, or that's how it seemed. She loved him and that's all that had mattered... or so he had thought.

Apparently he was wrong. Apparently neither Raven nor Robin had been as happy as they appeared. Four months ago Raven had said she needed space. Beast Boy obliged. Whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, right? Three and three-quarters: Raven and Robin sat down with Beast Boy and Starfire respectively, alone, to break the news that "a relationship of romantic nature" had begun. Between Robin and Raven. Raven and Robin. They were a number. No big deal. Sure. She was branching out, looking at alternate styles. Robin and Beast Boy were- are, after all, very different. That's fine, whatever. She'd be back. Everyone knew that Robin wasn't exactly the life of the relationship. There'd be no action. No worries.

Then three months ago Robin freakin' proposes to her in front of the whole city in perhaps the most spectacular display of rational affection ever and next thing he knew Beast Boy was sitting in the revamped living room of the Tower, front row, staring at the most beautiful, most inaccessible creature in the universe as she glared down the florist in preparation for the wedding at dawn. Raven was dressed in fitted jeans and an off the shoulders, long sleeved, lilac shirt. Her bell sleeves hung elegantly at her sides, smooth fabric revealing the smoother skin of long, thin hands placed artistically on flawless hips. Chin length, regalia hair (he'd looked up the perfect word to describe the color) was tucked hurriedly behind pale ears and shining eyes betrayed only a hint of the aggravation concealed within her sculpted face. He loved her, he wanted to be with her, he wanted to hold her, and she was too busy lecturing a stupid florist about orchids to notice or care. She wasn't coming back. So what was he supposed to do now?

_I Should Be Gone_

_Far From This Hell_

Common sense said he should run. Run until there was nothing left, until he collapsed in some strange, little town where no one even knew what a super hero was. To Vegas to join a cheep magic show, or back to Africa where he could just melt into the savanna and never be found. Maybe even into the government's super-secret-super-ninja- super-testing-super-facillitie's waiting arms. They'd been begging him for a blood sample for years anyway. Besides, whatever they did to him couldn't be worse than what he was going through now.

The whole thing was like a nightmare, a horrible, three month long nightmare. The day of the proposal Robin had effectively thrust a jagged, hooked dagger into his stomach as Raven simultaneously slipped another one through his spine. Each additional moment was just another twist. He wanted to run. He wanted to let his humanity slip and forget it all. Lions don't feel love in the same way, or pain. Most animals don't. Life would be much easier, much nicer, if he weren't human. If he didn't feel.

_Till Not A Trace Of You Survives_

But he did feel, he couldn't stop feeling. Maybe Raven could forget her heart just like that, but he couldn't. Maybe she could forget she loved him, but Beast Boy had to live with it. Had to exist with that sadistic intimacy they'd once shared every day. No magical, meditation induced 'out' for him, no escape. Beast Boy had to just take it with as much dignity as he could muster. He wished he was like her, he wished he could just turn off his emotions. He honestly wished he could run away and forget Raven.

_Yet I'll Stay On_

_For I Know Well_

_Though You've Left Me Behind You_

That wasn't happening though, none of it was. Beast Boy had thought and fantasized and dreamed and prayed that he would have the strength (or the cowardice) to shift and run. To get up right then and there, push both the bride and the florist aside, and jump through the glass wall into the bay. Never to return. But he couldn't do it. The will was there, the physical ability, but he couldn't. There was something still alive in his decomposing heart, something that whispered paralytic truth into his ear every time he'd almost talked himself into leaving. Through the endless arrangements, the decorating, Cyborg's polite request to be Best Man and save Beast Boy the humiliation and the fit of tears at the assignment of the Maid of Honor, the thoughtfulness of a full vegan buffet, and the tip-toeing around like the horribleness of what was happening was just part of the daily routine, or worse, part of the thrill, the scheming and screaming and agony and degradation, there was the little voice. The worst part of it all. It sat in his head on its little high horse and reminded him every moment that, despite the fact that she'd ripped out his heart and fed it to him, he still loved Raven. That no matter what she did or where she went or with whom, he was stuck.

She acted so invincible, so cold and solid, but Beast Boy knew better. Better than any one else ever could, especially Robin. She was so frail, so afraid all the time. So confined, ready to explode at any given moment. She needed to be cared for in a manner that Robin could never hope to understand. Protected in a certain way from certain unseen monsters. Even if she wanted to trust herself to the Fearless Leader and the Fearless Leader only, Beast Boy was still tied to her by that fact.

_One Day Troubles Will Find You_

_And When That Day Arrives_

_I'll Be There_

_For To Me There's No Sorrow_

_Worse To Bear_

_Than A Life Lived Apart._

How could he ever forgive himself if he did leave? How could he go on without knowing she was all right? Simple answer: he couldn't. She was a vacuum in his chest, a horrible, organic tie that he couldn't rip. He'd bleed to death. The only torment worse than watching the love of his life act all affectionate and doting and **girly** with another man, worse than watching her promise herself to that other man, was the thought of achieving freedom he so desperately sought only to find that she needed him. And she would need him.

_I'll Be There_

_Come The Mists On The Morrow_

_I'll Be There_

_By Your Side_

_And Deep Within Your Heart_

Regardless of what she said or did, she still needed him. Still loved him. All of this, it was vile but bearable. Failing Raven wasn't. So he stayed.

_Now she's his wife_

_And nobody knows_

_How much of her she'll have to hide._

Beast Boy didn't mean to sound like some kind of Saint or anything. He **was** jealous and bitter. And it **would** have felt great to tear down the whole wedding, proclaim to the world that Raven was marrying the wrong man, and completely ruin Robin's life. 'Cause Robin **was** the wrong man and he **had** made a bad call. That didn't mean he thought Robin was, like, evil or anything. Robin was a good guy. He was strong, brave, loyal, protective, the works. A real knight in shining armor (or as close as was practically possible). A good guy... just not for Raven.

Good luck telling that to their friends and the pubic though. Most people were stunned when Raven had chosen Beast Boy initially, the relieved when she'd switched her favors to Robin. After all the two were so similar. In addition to Camelot personality traits, Robin was also private, secretive, and reserved. He knew people's limits and only pushed them on purpose. He respected other's space and never ventured into the realm of personal if he could help it. And, of course, the two had that whole "bond" thing going on. So yeah, he did know her pretty well, just not well enough. Robin only knew and only cared to know the surface Raven, the human Raven, the one that walked and talked and was physically there. He'd seen the metaphysical and didn't like to mess with it. To Robin, there was only one Raven, the one he was going to marry. The private, sarcastic, quiet and mysterious half-demon that had formed his Team all those years ago.

There was just one little, teensy, tiny, baby problem with that reasoning: Raven only ever showed part of who she was at any given time. Yeah, there was the human Raven, but she's as much of a mutt as Beast Boy. And her secrets were the same as his. Human Raven could be reasoned with, talked to and calmed down. Demon Raven- Animal Raven, didn't care. Animals don't speak English, they don't respond to logical arguments and fallacies. They don't care what you want; they're out for their own gain. Sometimes Raven wanted what she wanted and sometimes Raven wanted to inflict pain. What she needed was an outlet who could speak the beast's language. Robin could talk to that human part no problem, but beasts... They communicate in touch and breath, snarls and squeals. Power was decided not by wit or battle, but by who clamped their jaws around the other's throat first. Yield or die. That was the understanding whenever Beast Boy ad Raven fought. What would she do now that her mate was so illiterate? Tie herself down even more? Hold it all inside until it ate her alive?

And what of the fear? The constant terror that she might loose control, that she might achieve invincibility? Robin, he'd always wanted power, always tried to obtain it. He was, after all, merely a human. All his strength had been won through hard work, sweat, and blood. It was admirable and made him the greatest of leaders, but it also blinded him to much about his Team. Raven and Beast Boy, they already had the power, the ability, the will. What they had to work at was not maintenance, but management. What Robin feared was that one-day he'd cross a line without realizing it, that he'd choose the wrong direction. What Raven feared was that one-day she'd knowingly cross that line and be unable to stop herself. That one-day the Animal would win out over the Human and she'd become a monster.

Beast Boy knew this because he was afraid of the same thing. Only that he'd be the one to loose control. Raven loosing control was one thing, everyone sort of expected it from her. She did have a literal demon to restrain. But if he lost control… **when** he lost control, there wasn't a human to call back. Beast Boy could empathize perfectly; he knew what it was like to have something else inside, something you can hardly comprehend, let alone expunge. He understood the hunger… and the desire to deny it. Robin offered her security, a reality where the Animal didn't even exist. If it didn't exist then it couldn't hurt anyone. If it couldn't hurt anyone then it wasn't something she'd have to worry about all the time. She could just be Raven, champion of justice, telekinetic empath, and wife of the great Robin. She didn't have to even recognize the other Raven. Raven the Harbinger of Endings, Raven the Destroyer of Joy, The Gem. Raven the demon. And that was appealing. He got that.

_But Whatever Life_

_He Might Propose_

_Will Be Merely Pretending_

_To The Dream Never-Ending_

_We Alone Hold Inside._

He also knew the dangers of denying oneself. A team of super heroes had raised him, after all. Brought him up to view his ability as a wondrous gift to be used for the forces of good and nothing more. It had been a great surprise to him the first time he'd tasted another's blood, the first time he'd wanted meat. Wanted to hunt not for justice, but for kicks and giggles. The even greater shock came when he realized it wasn't just the carnivorous animals inside him that wanted it. Man is the top predator on the planet and he was first and foremost a man. Over time repressed instinct and blood lust built into an uncontrollable frenzy which, with a catalyst, overtook him. Became him. He'd known it was there, but he hadn't respected it, recognized its influence. Monsters sneak up on you if you deny them, take hold in whispers and dreams, until there is no repressing them anymore. They control you through your fear… hurt the people around you through theirs. This happened to Raven too. It wasn't something you could fight; it'd be like fighting a leg for walking or a hand for grasping.

No, what Raven taught him and what he in turn tried to teach her, was that there is no way to escape from your own body and mind. You have to just accept that it's there, that it's alive, and that it **is** you. The Animal isn't some kind of parasite, living inside but not taking part. It's not even a separate personality in your mind. It is **you**, and you are it. Freedom comes from understanding that, expressing it. Know thyself. That's the true wish of anyone so stifled in his or her core. Freedom to be the person you are, from the lies you tell yourself and everyone around you, from the falseness that permeates each and every one-sided relationship.

Raven was going to try and go through life just pretending she was human. She was going to marry a man who, for all his virtue, feared and rejected half of her. And through that fear and repudiation they would create a Stepford fantasy that will crumble into pain and despair. Such is the fate of all fantasies. Between Raven and Beast Boy there had been no secrets, no lies or apologies. Nothing but the stark, ugly, terrifying truth. And they'd loved all the same. Between Raven and Robin, there had to be shadows. They were creatures of shadow, after all. People like Starfire and Beast Boy understood nothing but honesty. Secrets inside them would fester and burst, deep gashes in the fabric of their reality. Raven and Robin needed their secrets. They clung to them as children clutch their blankets, cushioning themselves from the world. It wasn't wrong, it was even understandable, but it also meant one would never know the other. Not fully. Neither cared to find out; both respected the other's dooming privacy far too much. Which was why instead of just accepting that Raven is half demon and moving on, they were going to fight it. They were going to wage a war against that integral part of the entity called Raven… and they were going to loose. People were gong to get hurt. And Beast Boy would have no choice to watch every venom tipped move.

**No.**

_I'll Be There_

He gazed across the room at Raven, felt her glow in the white light of the Tower like a warmth on his face. Her wrath was being bottled up and buried even as she debated coolly with the poor flouriest. Nuclear waste whose toxicity should not be so easily ignored. It would need a target and Robin couldn't handle it. He never could; it was all personal with him. This was a disaster and finally, in the twelve hours before the bull-rushed wedding, the knowledge struck a final, resonating blow against his rib cage.

"Hey Rae," he called, standing up and cupping his hands about his mouth for effect. Unlike Raven, he was already dressed in a deliberate attempt to appear as awkward as possible for the entire proceedings. He'd rented a black tux that was probably best suited for a funeral and now wore it with as little dignity as he could handle. His black pants were sagging and wrinkled, the fact that the suspenders had been removed made glaringly obvious by the haphazard abandonment of the matching jacket across his seat. He'd just been sitting on it like a cushion. The black and blue-stripped tie (everyone had expected some form of flamboyant bowtie, an expectation he would have gladly brought to fruition if he hadn't been so occupied hating his own existence) hung loosely tied about his neck, the knot lopsided and childish. The collar of his generic white shirt was unbuttoned and his hair was, as usual, disheveled. If there had been a bachelor party, he might have been severely hungover from it.

"What," she snapped, her eyes moving whip-like to his with a glare that would have made anyone else flinch. He just grinned tiredly at her.

"I need to talk to you."

"This is hardly the time, Garfield. I'm in the middle of something, can't it wait?"

"Raven **please**." A sharpness that he hadn't actually meant to add slipped through and caused the woman in question to pause.

"If you would like to avoid the floral arrangements being vaporized be a very upset Maid of Honor, you will make sure those orchids are as pink as they come. Maybe even pinker," she said tersely to the flouriest, though her gaze never left Beast Boy's. His smile tensed, the dropped all together as he turned and started to leave the common room. Raven's quick steps came up behind him, then overtook him. He followed her silently to her room.

_Though I Know That It's Madness,_

"So," she bit coolly as the door slid closed behind Beast Boy. "What is so important that you have to interrupt the acquisition of Starfire's flowers?"

"Is this the dress," he asked evasively, brushing past her to the mass of white ruffles in the back corner. It stood out in the gloom of her room, a beacon of wrongness and poor taste.

"Yes, that is the dress."

"You'll look terrible in it."

Raven gave an indignant snort but didn't refute the comment. They both knew it was true. This was Starfire's dress, the one that was to be worn at Robin's wedding. And it would have looked dazzling on the Tameranian princess. It was a warm pearl with the same gentle glean, as if the fabric had been woven from the ground up off-white gems as is sometimes done with gold. The neckline was square and modest with thick straps that left the shoulders and arms exposed. A pair of elbow length gloves rested on a red velvet stool by the full-length mirror, nestled between white, beaded ballet slippers and a sparkling gold tiara. It was a ballroom/empire gown, satin from the waste up and massive mix of fabrics from the waste down. The top half was horizontally pleated into thick bands around the torso while, in stark contrast, the skirt's layers and folds of sheer fabrics created the effect of swan feathers cascading over hips and out to a royal train. Someone would have to trail Raven by a good ten feet to carry the hem of this dress.

It was a dress created for a tall, slim-hipped, and small-breasted individual with warm skin and bright eyes. On Starfire it would have been beautiful, which made sense as Starfire had been the one to procure it only two weeks after she and Robin had first officially kissed. Now Raven was to don the dress because frankly, wedding dresses were expensive and Starfire herself had, without tears or emotion of any kind, insisted that it might as well get some use. The affianced felt that Starfire could handle her dress being worn on someone else's "big day" because, as far as they could read, she was over Robin and moving on with her life. Everyone knew better, but they were all duty bound not to ruin this wedding. Robin and Raven would get back from their nice, rational, passionless honeymoon and Starfire would be gone. That's just how it was.

This show they were putting on, the lengths they went to to try and make the Team all right with what was happening, it was all meaningless. Starfire wouldn't say anything, she was too considerate, and the stoic couple didn't want to hear it anyway. The pink orchids were going to look stupid and Raven was going to look like a bulky, busty, dirty midget being eaten by a mutated white bird as she pulled herself to the alter. Sure, most of the guests, the people they didn't really know, thought it was a wedding. But the Titans of Jump City, the one's that mattered, knew it was a union of principal. There was love of a sort, but not the kind you get married for. This was a union of minds not souls, a protest against the chaos and unpredictable nature of the world.

He picked up a fold of the dress and rubbed it between his fingers. The fabric purred as Raven watched, impatient but wary. "I always pictured you in a column gown. Dark blue satin to match your eyes. Off the shoulder neckline with lace sleeves down to the backs of your hands. An open back held with crisscrossed chords down to your tailbone, and a little train that just brushes the ground." He closed his eyes, visualizing for an instant. "Nothing like this."

"I'm having a traditional wedding in a white dress. Your opinion doesn't really factor into the decision making process, though I thank you for it."

"Well, it's always a pleasure to be ignored." Sarcastic banter… as if everything was normal. Beast Boy grimaced and shifted so that he could only see Raven in the mirror. She had her arms crossed, her face expressionless. They stood in a deadlock for a few agonizing seconds, then Beast Boy dropped the pretense. "Why are you doing this Raven?"

"Doing what?"

"You know what."

_Heart Laid Bare,_

_Stripped Of Pride, Yet Still Proud._

"Garfield, stop it. Not now, not today." He turned around, facing her full on but maintaining his distance. Heat came into his face as anger gnawed at his voice.

"If not now then when? When would you like me to tell you I love you and I think you deserve a marriage that's more than platonic? When would be a good time to beg you not to go through with this? Would you rather I wait and object during your vows? Should I get drunk at the reception and let it all out then? Tell me how you'd like me to go about doing this because as is I'm just flying by the seat of my pants!"

"I would rather you not do it at all. I would rather you get over yourself and stop acting like some hormone crazed adolescent. We're grown ups now, Garfield, deal with it and move on."

"Seriously, Rae? You're just going to dismiss me as hormonal and keep going like everything's hunkey-dorey? Isn't that usually a man's job?"

"Garfield-"

"Raven, I'm not sixteen anymore. I haven't been sixteen for years. And what you and I have goes way beyond hormones and we both know it."

"We don't **have** anything. We're just friends."

"Lie to yourself if you want. Hell, even lie to Robin and the rest of the world. But do not lie to me Raven. I know you. You can't just dismiss me. Torture me, maim me, throw me out of the damn window, but don't dismiss me."

_I'll Be There_

_In The Depths Of My Sadness_

"You're really going to do this, aren't you? You're really going to do this on my wedding day!"

"You haven't left me much of a choice. I'd hoped you'd have figured that out by now, but I guess you're more attached to that obtuse rationalism than I thought."

"And what is it I'm supposed to have figured out? Please, enlighten me. Tell me what's so profound that only the great Garfield Logan could "figure it out." Let's just get this spat cleared up so I can get married, please."

"You're marrying the wrong man!"

An unmistakable change came over Raven's face. Her jaw tensed, her brows pulled down, and her eyes clouded. Fury. She took three quick steps towards Beast Boy, pulled back her hand, and slapped him across the face. Hard. His head jerked to one side as pain radiated from his cheek like fire.

"I will marry whomever I damn well please," she hissed. Beast Boy raised his eyes to meet hers, smiling cunningly.

"Does he make your blood boil," he asked quietly, giving her a hard, unblinking stare she couldn't break away from. "Does he make your heart race or your skin tingle?" She had no response. He straightened his neck and back, still grinning. "No, of course not. He doesn't know how too. He can't sense your moods or handle your passion." Beast Boy reached up one bare hand and placed it on her cheek. She didn't pull away; her eyes remained fixed on his. He brought his face close to hers, snorting through his nose past her ear and enjoying the shiver her felt run down her spine. "It's all duty and logic with Robin. He doesn't make you feel. I'm the only one who does that."

_I'll Be There_

_Ever Steeled_

With a single, swift motion, he slid his hand through her hair to the back of her head and pressed his lips to hers. The other hand snaked its way around her waist as months of pent up passion and need found relief. He closed his eyes and kissed her just like he used to, like he would when she cried, like he would when she'd laugh, like he would when she woke up. He willed his love for her through their lips, willed it into her frozen heart. At the same time he opened himself to her, completely and fully, as if the Beast Boy everyone knew or thought they knew was nothing but a shell and he was showing her the snail inside. Soft, unprotected, defenseless and afraid. Repulsive, even. To some. He showed her her vulnerabilities, her fears, her nightmares, all reflected in his soul. He showed her an understanding of who and what she was that no one else could ever reach or even comprehend.

'I love you Raven,' he thought, knowing that she could hear. 'I love your mother's humanity and your father's evil. I love the parts you're proud of and the parts you're too ashamed of to even recognize. I don't care if you're a hero or a villain, savior or destroyer. I've seen your worst, I know what you are, what impulses lurk beneath those beautiful eyes and I'm not afraid of you. You know I understand what it's like in a way that he never will. I love you like he never can.'

_Unyielding And Unbowed_

_._

Her hands worked up onto his chest, fingernails digging through his shirt into his muscles. With one powerful, enraged shove she pushed him away, tearing his lips from hers and causing him to stumble.

"You arrogant bastard," she hissed, whipping her mouth with the back of her hand and glaring.

"Raven, my parents were married when I was conceived," he goaded back, smirking at her emotional display.

"Shut up! How dare you? I never thought you'd have the audacity to come in here like this, come in here when I'm getting married in the morning! What's the matter with you? We've been through this before; I can't be around you like this, you just infuriate me!"

"Good. At least when you're pissed off you're feeling something! At least around me you're alive!"

Black energy swirled around her hands and blew through her hair. Her eyes glowed bright white and in a flash Beast Boy felt himself slam into the wall behind him. The bookcase rattled anxiously as he slid to the floor, upset the impact that had knocked the wind from Beast Boy's lungs had disturbed its rest. There was a moment of deadly silence before he gasped for air and began to struggle to his feet. Raven watched coldly.

"My powers are linked to my emotions; it's dangerous for me to feel. Keep ignoring that, Garfield. Keep pushing me and one of these days I'm going to kill you."

"Do you really- think I'm so weak- that I would let you?"

No time to respond. He was up and before her in a blink, one hand loosely wrapped around her throat as the other pressed claw-like nails into her stomach. His ears were pressed animalisticly against his skull and his gaze held the unmistakable glint of a predator. Raven refused to let the surprise show on her face.

"I'm not some frail human that needs protecting from your darker half. I'm not even a well-prepared human who needs to be perpetually on guard for your bad days. I'm not an angel or a monster, good or evil, I just am. Just like you. Now tell me Raven, is this something Robin will ever understand? Is it something he's ready to do because you know one day he'll have to."

"Let go or I'll have to hurt you again."

"Go ahead! I can hurt you too. You don't have to feel guilty with me, Raven. You don't have to lie to me."

"I'm not lying to Robin," she spat coldly, pushing his hand from her throat and stepping back. He didn't resist. "You think I'd get into a relationship under false pretenses? You think I'd marry a man who doesn't know me? You don't know the first thing about me!"

"I know that you love me."

"Maybe love isn't enough. Maybe I want some stability."

"Fine!" And he snapped.

_Go And Marry A Man You Don't Love_

_If That Pleases You._

_Throw Away, For A Cause,_

_All The Joys We Have Known_

_I Thought Love's More Than Faith,_

_More Than Clan, More Than Anything_

_May His Kiss Keep You Warm_

_I'll Be Fine On My Own!_

Raven just looked at him, looked at him as if he'd gone insane. Hurt, confused… afraid. Her normally stern lips parted, her impartial eyebrows raised in surprise and concern. A shaky breath expanded her ribs and lifted her chest, suspended, then collapsed as her eyes fell closed. She shook her head and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. Her fingers ran down her neck, then reached across her chest to grasp her shoulder. Beast Boy looked back, breathing hard through his nose and glaring. His eyes shown with intensity, though precisely which emotion they reflected was difficult to discern. Anger, betrayal, sadness, then finally, guilt.

"What do you want from me," Raven whispered, defeated. She never sounded defeated.

_Is It Me I'm Deceiving?_

Beast Boy took a step towards her. She flinched back, refusing to look at him. He reached out for her free hand and grasped the tips of her fingers loosely, dropping his gaze.

"I'm sorry. That was… out of line."

"Yes it was." Silence. "I know what I'm doing Garfield. Passion, infatuation, love, they can fade. They can make you do stupid things. But respect doesn't go away and if nothing else you must know that Robin and I respect each other. If you don't trust Robin enough to take care of me, then can you at least trust me to take care of myself?"

Beast Boy swallowed like a scolded child. Raven released her shoulder and brought her hand to his face, raising his chin. She gave him a small, kind smile. He didn't grin back.

"If it makes you uncomfortable, I know Bumblebee's been wanting to establish as presence in L.A.. She was impressed with your assault of the Brotherhood of Evil's lair and-"

"Don't ask me to leave Raven. Please. I know it's not my place, I know it's crazy. But I can't leave. I won't leave you."

_Mad Or Not, I'll Stay True._

_I'll Be There..._

"I'm doing what I think is best; I can't ask you to do differently."

He didn't answer. He didn't look at her, or smile, or squeeze her hand. Instead he dropped to his knees, slowly and deliberately, and pulled her hand from her side. As always, they understood one another. No more words were needed; he pressed his lips to her fingertips the action spoke for itself.

_I'll Be There, Heaven Speed Me,_

_By Your Side, As You Need Me_

_I'll Be There For You._


End file.
